Dear Friends,
At times, the Church may seem to lack a sense of humour, taking things far too seriously, and needs to ‘lighten up’ a bit more. I find some of the Church’s (perhaps unintentional) humour in the patronage of the saints, for example, St Joseph of Cupertino, Patron of Aviators, because he used to levitate during prayer! Then there is St Clare of Assisi who lay ill in bed one Christmas and had a vision of the Christ child on her wall and heard the hymns – Patron Saint of Television!
I mention these to lighten the shock of today’s Gospel passage from Luke which refers to a disciple needing to ‘hate his father, mother, wife, children, etc’ – all on Father’s Day!! The context, Jesus invitation to the Kingdom and the supreme good in accepting Jesus’ call, softens this statement.
In our day, our men need affirmation and care. The many ‘models’ of manhood – from the sensitive to the combative - can confuse the young seeking role models, especially among sports stars and men with high public profiles. Our Dads can offer the lead here.
Our Dads and Mums have the joy of choosing our names. In a homily last Tuesday, Fr Jepser reminded us of how we are given our names and mentioned that, among native Americans, naming of boys is sometimes delayed until the child’s personality begins to emerge and a suitable name can be chosen. What a privilege for our fathers and mothers to choose the name by which God will call us for the rest of our lives!
On this Father’s Day, I share with you some thoughts of Pope Francis as he reflects on the Our Father and the importance of earthly fathers. He wants to let fathers know that they’re not alone and he offers the following simple advice that fathers can take to heart:
Be present to your family – ‘The first thing needed is this, that the father be present in the family. That he be close to his wife, to share everything, joys and sorrows, hardships and hopes. A father needs to be close to the children as they grow up; when they are playing and when they are working on a task; when they are carefree and when they are troubled.’ He adds that being present doesn’t mean being in control, though. ‘Fathers who control too much are crushing their children, they are not letting them grow up.’
Be patient – He mentions the story of the prodigal son, better described as the story of the merciful father. ‘What dignity and tenderness there is in how the father stands at the door of the house, waiting for his son to come back! Fathers have to be patient. So many times there is nothing that can be done but wait in patience, kindness, generosity, and mercy, and pray.’
Correct without discouraging your children - Patience and forgiveness go hand in hand for fathers but this doesn’t meant that you can’t correct your children, but be aware to correct without discouragement. Pope Francis shared a story: ‘One time at a conference on the topic of marriage, I heard a dad say, “Sometimes I have to discipline my kids a little, but I never humiliate them.” How beautiful! The father has a sense of dignity. He has to reprimand, but he does it in the right way, to correct behaviour, and then moves on.’
Recognize the importance of fathers - The presence of a father is an undeniable, immeasurable gift in the life of children. ‘For the younger generations,’ Pope Francis said, ‘fathers are the irreplaceable guardians and mediators of faith in the goodness, of faith in the justice, and faith in the protection of God, like Saint Joseph.’ He went on, ‘Children need to find a father who is waiting for them when they return from their failures. These children will do all they can in order not to admit their mistakes, not to let their embarrassment show, but they need this security. Not finding their father at the door opens wounds inside them that are difficult to heal.’
On this Father’s Day, we affirm and give thanks for our fathers, both living and deceased. Fr Dave