So often as parents, and without thinking, we delve into solving our parenting challenges on our own; after all, God gave us the responsibility to look after our children so, naturally we take it upon ourselves to be in control.
Although St. Joseph was also given the responsibility of fatherhood, he approached parenting in a very different way. Through his example, he provided the perfect inspiration of what it means to surrender; to be receptive to grace, obedient to God’s will and open to divine providence for his family. Joseph’s Fiat (Latin for “Let it be done”) was his brave and recurring response to parenting; the very attitude we must learn to have in our own lives and for our own families.
St. Joseph’s ‘let it be done’ approach opens the door to a beautiful display of just how active God can be in our families if we give Him the space to be.
In the Gospels, we read numerous occasions where St. Joseph was able to protect his family, only through a surrendering of his will to God. Joseph’s willingness to take Mary as his wife after the Angel came to him in a dream (Matthew 1:20-25) and The Holy Family’s flee to Galilee after the Angel urged him to flee (Matthew 2:22) are two great examples of Joseph’s total submission to God’s will. His brave “yes” to God every step of his parenting journey (and at the expense of his own ideas and resolutions) gave God the room to lead and guide St. Joseph and in turn, gifting him with the Divine Providence we saw in the life of the Holy Family.
The very foundation of The Holy Family was a resounding “yes” to God’s will and by imitating this “yes”, we arm ourselves with the most potent parenting tool there is by inviting God into our families and giving Him permission to lead the way. It’s saying, “we’re open to your plan for our family, God and we’re ready to be shown what to do”.
When we are able to give up our own plans and our own need for control, we begin to see God’s hand in our families; we miraculously receive answers to our parenting dilemmas, healing in our family relationships, resolutions to family troubles and in some cases, much needed redirection in our family lives. As an added bonus, this surrender frees us from the stress, worry and anxiety that often goes hand-in-hand with parenting because we begin to feel and know that we are actually co-parenting with God. Yes, we were given the responsibility to care for our children but never has God left us to do it alone!
What if however, surrender just feels too hard to do? There are many, very human reasons we naturally find it difficult to surrender:
1. We rely on ourselves, and not on God’s grace to help us actually let go
2. We base our worth on achievements or particular outcomes and fear that if the outcome we are hoping for doesn’t come to fruition, we will be worth less
3. We attach ourselves to the idea of a particular outcome and fear that the outcome that follows surrender may not be the one we are hoping for
4.We do not trust in God’s assistance to help us adapt to an unpredictable situation that comes from relinquishing control
5. We fear that surrender is equivalent to apathy, passivity or a lack of initiative
6. We lack trust in God to guide our decisions
7. We believe that surrender is a principle used for big life events and that smaller, everyday situations don’t warrant the approach of surrender
8. We believe we are unworthy of experiencing God’s providence in our lives, or don’t believe it’s possible
Unfortunately, in parenting and family life, these ways of thinking are all too common, even for us Christians. Whether conscious of it or not, we can very easily fall into these traps because naturally, the greater the importance of something in life, the greater the sense of needing to control it is.
Through his works and life, we can see the miracles and great benefits that came from St. Joseph’s approach of putting his family completely in God’s hands. As hard as it may be at times, the more we strive to follow St. Joseph’s lead in surrendering our families to God, the more God will lead and actively help us in it. To quote St Francis de Sales, “The measure of Divine Providence acting on us is the degree of confidence that we have in it.”
As we arrive at St. Joseph’s feast day, let us consciously look forward with a sense of trust in God and a willingness to let go of control so that we may continue on a parenting journey of ever increasing providence, faith & co-parenting with God. “Let it be done.”
I LIFT UP MY NEEDS IN PRAYER
Joseph, with Jesus and Mary, you knew hunger, uncertainty, and illness.
You turned your heart to God to lift up your needs and those of your family.
In faith you accepted the Father’s response as events unfolded.
Be with me today as I offer my requests to the Father.
Joseph, let me recognise God’s will as I open my hands to accept what God bestows in loving kindness.
With tenderness, God fills creation with life and love.
Open my eyes to the wonders that God works without ceasing.
Let me learn the true intention behind my request so that I may discover
within myself the lowly one that God commends.
Amen.
Jessica Crino
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